Today, 16 years ago, we found ourselves on a ship
in stormy weather, fighting against the waves
with endless and dark oceans beneath us
the sails tormented by the rushing wind
determined to continue this restless voyage
for being rescued in safer havens
Promptly, destiny decided
the captain of the ship lost
not at the rudder anymore
to guide us through the ruthless seas
a ship without a captain is like a heaven without stars
Defeated by the shock of emptiness
overwhelmed by a grief that diggs deep into your soul
for losing him who had been the captain for many years
through the highest, sweetest tides, through pools of love
it felt as most unfair in the whole world
The sails rippled and teared by the violent storm
the steerless ship without direction at sea
Defeated. Lost. Why him. Why?
16 years later the wind is less heavy
today no harsh storms at sea
yet stormy weather knows
to find the way to my heart
Our captain is not sailing the ship anymore
but often I feel he’s still there
silently around here
silently fills the air with love
as strong as the deepest oceans
he guides me to safe havens
Not a day goes by
without thinking, without realising
we, the crew, are still missing our captain
today, 16 years later
not a single day
We love you, Dad
Dank je schat voor jouw herinnering aan je lieve papa.
Zo mooi geschreven.
Thank you lieve mam
Finding myself at the graveyard looking to the stone carved words: “m’n grote liefde en onze allerliefste pappa en opi. Ontslapen 9 december 1999”. I calculate the years. Again I calculate the years. No way…16 years! I feel a certain panic. Will I still remember my daddy in 16 years from now like I do today? Or worse: Are things already fading? Do I still remember my father and mother as a couple, as my parents doing things together? Laughing, crying, arguing? How can I capture these memories?
I cannot. And it scared the crap out of me. Again some panic. I’m looking for something comforting. And then I remembered. You wrote something beautiful Eef. I read it yesterday. Comforting words. I start up my iphone, looking for your blog, tried all combinations with your name and the Spanish word of “moon” or something like that. Finally I found it. And it comforted me Eef. Sitting on my knees, reading your poem and from time to time looking at the carved words.
Thanks sister, you calmed me down. I’m able to say again, like I always do when visiting our dad: “ Sorry I can’t stay longer, but ride with me. I’m having a long road ahead of me.
❤️ the love remains , brother…thank you