She says that sounds, people, and certain situations can throw her off balance. “Smells and sights trigger and creep into your life.” Almost a year ago, she was liberated from Hamas’s terror. There is still much healing to be done — visible and invisible wounds. “People think that once we were released we would be happy now, because it’s over and we are home, but we’ve only just begun.”

At the time, I looked at her photo on social media and thought about the undoubtedly horrific situation she must have been in. Romi Gonen. I looked at her, with a bird on her shoulder, and thought: this could have been me, a sister, a friend, a cousin. The enormous difference, however, is that none of us lives next to a neighboring country where jihadists have been sowing death and terror for years. We do not have a neighbor who prefers us dead rather than alive. And this awareness of reality is simultaneously what many privileged Westerners lack; those who can safely call for a global intifada from their own streets.

In the early morning of October 7, 2023, the then 23-year-old Israeli Romi Gonen was taken hostage from the Nova dance festival along with 250 others and taken to Gaza, where she was held captive by Hamas for over a year. In Gaza, she was subjected to severe psychological and sexual violence.

Powerful interview

Only a handful of media outlets outside Israel have made the effort to report on Romi Gonen following her courageous interview with documentary filmmaker and journalist Ben Shani of the Israeli investigative program Uvda, who followed Romi for months to bring her story to the public (she waited till all hostages who were still alive returned home). The powerful interview aired in Israel on Channel 12 on Christmas Day.

In the Netherlands, among the major newspapers, only Trouw paid attention to Romi Gonen’s revelations. The current leader of Hamas, Izz al-Din Haddad, struck a deal with her: he ensured that she would be placed at the top of the list for release, on the condition that she would keep her mouth shut about Hamas’s sexual terror. Major international media outlets — among them the BBC, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and El País — have remained silent about her courageous and powerful breaking of her silence.

Betrayal

While watching the one-hour interview — deeply emotional, and at times shocking — I could only think: where does this young woman find the courage to share her story with the world? A world that embraces her, yet has also brutally betrayed and abandoned her. A world full of “allies,” but apparently not for her.

Those who call themselves feminists, human rights activists, defenders of women’s rights, and advocates for victims of sexual violence have fallen silent, despite usually condemning injustice loudly and forcefully. Women like Romi Gonen have been coldly turned their backs on. Romi Gonen is Israeli and Jewish, and for the hypocrites among them, that is reason enough to be hostile toward her.

Romi Gonen and her story do not fit their tainted narrative of Israelis as eternal oppressors and Palestinians as forever victims — a narrative they tirelessly promote and spread. An Israeli woman raped by Palestinian “resistance fighters” is either denied (ask Reem Alsalem, UN Special Rapporteur on Violence Against Women and Girls and Greta Thunberg), ignored (politicians who call themselves ‘feminists’ such as Irene Montero and Ione Belarra in Spain), or met with rolling eyes (as seen with political commentator, Briahna Joy Gray, at the end of her interview with Romi’s sister on American television). The disbelief and silence are almost as devastating as the sexual terror inflicted by Hamas itself.

Hamas left out

What is the point of campaigning against violence against women and girls if Hamas is left out of the picture? Apparently not all women and girls count. Some perpetrators are allowed to act with impunity. Reem Alsalem, UN Special Rapporteur on Violence Against Women and Girls, has been asleep at the wheel.

During her 471 days of captivity, Romi was subjected to sexual violence by multiple Hamas members. The first time was by a doctor from a hospital who claimed he was there to “treat her wounds.” He abused her while she was showering, still not fully aware after surgery on her injured arm. “He said he was here to help. I was injured.” (…) “He took everything away from me after that happened.” And that was only the beginning.

She was moved between various locations, including an apartment in Gaza City, still suffering severe pain in her arm. Immediately after the first incident of sexual abuse, she was filmed by a cameraman named Mohammed, who recorded a video intended for Hamas to publish as proof of life. The video was never released. In the footage that has since surfaced, her eyes reveal fear, pain, and despair. Right after filming, the cameraman also began to harass her.

She managed to fend him off and fled to another room, but the following morning he told her that from then on he would accompany her to the bathroom every day — during showers and toilet visits, always. He placed his mattress next to hers, with a gun by his pillow, and at night he handcuffed her. Another Hamas member who stayed in the same apartment, Ibrahim, also sexual assaulted her.

“It couldn’t be any worse”

The sixteen days that followed were “the worst of her captivity,” as she describes them. Ibrahim harassed her constantly. She resisted, kicked him, but he was stronger. A few days later, she woke up to the voices of Mohammed and Ibrahim. They told her that Hamas had ordered her execution, but that Hamas ultimately agreed to keep her alive provided they left for a new location soon. Mohammed told her to wash herself at the sink, because it was uncertain when the next opportunity would be, and left her alone. But he then returned to the bathroom, where the most severe sexual violence of her captivity took place, as she recounts. “Why?” she asked. “Why?” “It couldn’t be any worse.” Afterwards, he threatened her with a gun to her head. “If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.” She was then taken into Hamas’s terror tunnels.

Breaking point

On January 19, 2025, after 471 days, she was released in a hostage deal between Israel and Hamas, brokered with the help of the U.S. government under President Trump. I will never forget the images of her release, together with Emily Damari and Doron Steinbrecher: tears streamed down my face as I watched the young women surrounded by an armed, frenzied mob, handed over to the International Committee of the Red Cross, and finally reunited with their families. There was relief, but also powerless rage. The abduction of innocent women, men, and children, and the way the West responded, marked a breaking point.

Romi is not the first hostage to testify about sexual abuse by Hamas. Other Israeli former hostages have also shared their stories with those willing to listen. These testimonies speak of severe psychological abuse, physical torture, starvation, emotional blackmail, and sexual violence — of which male hostages have also been victims.

Weapon of war

Conflict-related sexual violence, as occurred on and after October 7, 2023, is a weapon of war directed at civilians. It constitutes crimes against humanity. Examples of this horrific phenomenon include the sexual enslavement of Yazidi women by ISIS and the sexual torture of Tutsi women during the Rwandan genocide. In war and conflict, women and girls are often targeted by sexual violence. Do your damn job, Ms. Reem Alsalem — especially when there are clear and compelling testimonies from victims of rape and sexual abuse (of those who survived the massacre) on October 7, as documented by UN Special Representative on Sexual Violence in Conflict, Pramila Patten, who has done her job.

The Israeli initiative The Dinah Project, led by legal experts under Professor Ruth Halperin-Kaddari, was established to document sexual violence during the Hamas attacks of October 7, 2023 — through testimonies and legal analysis — and to bring these crimes to international attention. It defines Hamas’s sexual violence as a weapon of war. Its aim is to prevent all sexual wartime violence from being ignored or denied. Truth and accountability are essential.

The interview with survivor Romi Gonen deserves to be watched carefully by anyone who wishes to understand what the hostages endured, their wounds and the scars that Israeli society will carry for a long time to come. Romi Gonen deserves attention and respect for her courage and strength. Listen and be her witness.

The one-hour interview with English subtitles you can watch here.

Also published on Medium, Substack and Reporters Online (Dutch).

Meanwhile in the Islamic Republic Iran, jihad export state.