Moving house makes me sad. This is only my fifth time in my 43-year-old life. When I gave up my home for another one, excitement have always been followed by waves of sadness. Just like it is now.
The waves were high today, it stormed and I had difficulties to keep my head above water. On top of the changes, looking at the postcards, old letters, agendas and notes I wondered, where did those years go?
I won’t miss this place in summer when millions of people are visiting this small island and the beaches so I look forward to living in the countryside when season starts. But during the “autumn and winter months” and spring times, it’s the best house I can think of. It’s a dream. It won’t be long now.
Tuesday I started packing our stuff and the decisions what to keep and what goes has begun. The cats sniff at the boxes and know that something is happening here. Tearing up a postcard with the written words of my mother hurts, so I decide to keep them all. Just as those of my sister, brother and old friends..
I feel attached to places, houses and to people who are worth to feel attached to. It makes moving house a bit more complicated than it should be. As a Taurus I prefer security and I actually don’t like changes too much, although I do know it’s good for me to step into the unknown, to shake things up and to take risks. Not that we’re risking much by moving to “our tiny house”, but this will be different and I will rediscover community life which is challenging. It’s a chance too to get to know myself a bit better again.
By writing these words the sadness of today slowly dissolves in the night. I’m happy when night comes when there was so much to do and think about. It’s time to lay my head on my pillow, go to sleep now and stop feeling too much. Let go, let go, let go. It’s going to be all right.