Last Friday early in the morning the plane to Ibiza left without me.
This last week we found ourselves in stormy weather…
The peace I felt last Tuesday after my sister and brother-in-law came home from the hospital and seeing their smiling faces and telling these words …no cancer…Tears of joy! I have never felt so much gratitude in my life before (and there’s so much to be thankful for). What a beautiful, intense feeling. Unforgettable.
The next day, however, my sister got a phone call, my mum and I were there: The hospital…Doctors are having doubts as one scan showed an unhealthy liver and it’s uncertain what these deviations mean. The results of this full body CT-scan arrived one day later, while the happy news (“no signs of cancer”) already had been given by the oncologist on the basis of the results of the other (a PET) scan. How is this possible? I was furious. We all were.
Again I felt so much anger. Powerless by this message. Powerless by the actions of this hospital…my sick sister. That feeling of frustration and anger has transformed us into lionesses. Sharp, with a protective strenght, ready for the fight.
Last Thursday and Friday my sister underwent more tests. CT-scan of the liver and even a biopsy, followed by a colonoscopy tomorrow. She’s so brave!
The moment I’m writing this a storm has arrived in The Netherlands. Wind. Rain. Traces of Spring seem to be far away. This time of uncertainty, this stormy weather were in these last weeks, makes me realize better times will return and we all have a strenght in us. All lionesses.
I’m still positive. I’m convinced my sweet sister will recover from all this after the best care she ‘ll get. We have to wait for the test-results this week ahead of us. I have hope and faith in what will come. And I forgive myself the moments when I’m not at peace. I fully accept it.
We all need to surrender for it will give us peace in the end.
Today I feel tired.. The lioness inside me is tired and needs some rest. Outside it’s autumn, inside I don’t know yet. Still, I feel Spring won’t be too far away. We need to have faith in the coming weeks. Hope and love will get us there. I know it does.
I’m with you my sweet, strong sister, brother-in-law and your beautiful girls.
Love and Light!
Tomorrow the lioness is back!!